Well this blog hasn’t gone as smoothly as i hoped when i began it. The end of 2011 was a nightmare for me to be fair, and here is why………
If you’ve read previous blogs (as few as there are) I was very unwell. Since August 2011 I had lost weight rapidly (which was good if I’m being honest) the smell of food made me vomit constantly, I felt weak all the time, basically I was wasting away. I had seen my GP numerous of times and he did numerous tests and came up with zilch! In the early hours of my birthday 9th November, my other half began feeling very unwell and due to his ongoing conditions (COPD and influenza) he phoned an ambulance. He was admitted and they found he had TB! When this was discovered, two days after his admittance, I put two and two together and came up with four lol. Yes I had TB!
My close friend Della and my step daughter Steph immediately phoned for an ambulance. A Rapid Response man turned up to assess me and see if an ambulance was needed. By this time I had deteriorated a hell of a lot, so much so all whom were around me were very worried and upset. I had lost even more weight (to clarify how bad it was I was a size 16 and shrunk to a size 10 in 3 months!) and I could no longer swallow, so at this point I could not only not eat but had a lot of difficulty drinking too! LOL it got so bad I was actually wetting a flannel and sucking it to get fluids! Anyway the rapid response guy was horrid! He kept asking me what the actual emergency was. I admitted it was actually not an emergency in my eyes and I was sorry he was bothered on a Friday night with lil old me. He said I’d just got a throat infection and made me sit and suck on calpol sachet for kids, which meant I had to have double because obviously im not a kid. He was told my other half was in hospital and had been diagnosed with TB to which he replied it was highly unlikely I had it. By the time he left I felt like I had completely wasted NHS time and money and was ready to do as he told me which was to get back to bed. Della and my step daughter Steph were livid and felt that they were not being listened to. They were very concerned about me. Steph got on the phone to her Uncle (the other half’ brother) and told him the situation and bless him he phoned an ambulance from where he was and demanded I be admitted. Within minutes there was an ambulance whisking me off to hospital with me apologising all the time for being a nuisance. Once I was in hospital the staff were amazing! They took me seriously straight away, once x-rays were done they confirmed I had TB. in the meantime, upon entering A&E we seen the Rapid Response guy who had attended to me previous, he walked up to the paramedics whom had brought me in and said ‘I’ve already seen her! If you’d have phoned me I’d of told you there’s nothing wrong with her!’ Cheeky git!!
In A&E I remember it was like I was out of my face. I had not been given any meds to make me like that but I was just remember slipping in and out of consciousness. Steph spoke to one of the doctors and asked how serious it was. The doc said if I’d have left it another week she could have been planning my funeral!!! So if I’d have done what the Rapid Response guy had advised me to do ie. go back to bed - I could have died!! And I know me, if it wasnt for Della and Steph I’d have just curled up in bed and not bothered anyone again because I felt a twirp for them calling the ambulance anyway. Thank God for friends and family who care!! So there I was in A&E with TB. They took me up to a ward where I had to stay in a side room segregated from everyone else because TB is contagious (I’ll fill you in later on what TB is). The first few days I hardly knew where I was or who was there but as the meds started working I began to feel better by about day four. The first week in the side room was bliss, peace and quiet, but by the second week I was climbing the walls! I had an e-book, the laptop (but no internet), my iPod, my blackberry and puzzle books and I was still bored shitless! And to top it all off I’d been admitted on the Friday and my eldest lads birthday was on the Sunday, he was not allowed to visit us but fortunately good family and friends made the most of the day for him. For two weeks I was unable to see my little treasures, it was painstaking believe me! I’ve never been away from them for so long and they had never really stopped with anyone else so I was worried about them settling. Bless them they had a few nights at Stephs then a week with my mum. Bless my Mum she was great, she’s never had the boys overnight nevermind for a week!! But my boys did me proud and behaved themselves wonderfully.
I was finally let out and returned home to my boys. Again thank goodness for my friends and family because I was in recovery and not as agile as one used to be. It made me laugh leaving the hospital. I was itching to get out and wasn’t released until about 7pm, I had been using the commode for my toilet needs and just before leaving I was dying for the loo but I was sick of using the commode. It’s not very comfortable and feels, somehow, wrong lol. So me being me thought I’ll use the loo before leaving the hospital. I was getting a lift home off Stephs fella who was meeting me outside. So there I am (feeling wonderful and like I can conquer the world) I walk down a short corridor into the lift then down a long-ish corridor to the entrance/exit which is where toilets are located. By the time I reach the toilets I’m knackered! Then to my horror I couldn’t lift myself off the toilet!!! LOL!! Finally after five minutes I was able to lift myself, and immediately started laughing my head off! Here I was a 29-year-old woman weighing hardly anything and I was that weak I couldn’t lift myself off the loo!! Thank god I can look on the funny side of things. I said to Steph I had visions of phoning her from the toilet and asking if she could come and help me off. How funny would that have been!?!
Anyway finally I got home and surprised my boys who had no idea Mummy was coming home. It was wonderful to see their little faces light up when they walked in to see me sitting in the Living room. The last few weeks have been a struggle but finally I am starting to feel myself again. I have to take nine tablets a day for the next five months. The course is six months and I’ve already had a month’s course. The combination of drugs and the TB have really knocked me about. I have had to look after the boys but admittedly they have been great and Connor my eldest has been amazing. Then the week before christmas my other half came home. The illness has really took its toll on him, mainly because of his ongoing conditions and his age, luckily for me I have youth and good health on my side. So my recovery period was sort of cut short, then to top it off Christmas was looming. Thank God for Ebay!! I did most of the christmas shopping online and saved a bargain. It was the first time I’ve brought something online and needless to say I think a new addiction has begun.
Thankfully Christmas went off without a hitch and we even had a party on Boxing Day with all our close friends and children. It was probably the best day out of the whole festive season, thoroughly enjoyable but completely exhausting also. New years was very quiet and anti-social. I wasn’t in the mood at all to celebrate. Normally I am totally up for a good knees up to say goodbye to the good or bad year we’ve had but 2011 left without a toast from me. I think this was due to the second shitty year in a row and I felt 2011 didn’t deserve a good farewell. I just wanted it over. Goodbye and good riddance!
2012………… I have big hopes for this year. I refuse to make plans or resolutions as I feel it puts pressure on a person to stick to these plans and this time next year you feel stupid/embarrassed/annoyed/angry that you didn’t follow through on what you vowed you would do. So my one promise for 2012 is that I will do my utmost to live life to the full and as always no regrets. I would like to do things I have been putting off for one reason or another. ‘Never enough time or money’ , ‘can’t be bothered’, ‘the hassle of it would be a……hassle’ are not excuses I wish to use this year. But we shall see, I may chatting the same old shit this time next year!
So that is what I have been up to. I haven’t had the inclination at all to be my normal academic self. I love keeping my brain active and struggle to just sit and watch TV, I always need to be doing something else as well. But since being ill I had lost all inclination for all things concerning usage of my brain. I have only noticed this over the last week I think its my current obsession with The Sims 2 for the PC. I’ve begun to realise that this activity is favourable at the moment because it is mind numbing. At times this is not a bad thing, but for me the constant it has become in my life is not me. I do like games like that, I’m aware they seem pointless to a lot of people but hey! I enjoy them. BUT not to put my brain to some sort of challenge big or small is not healthy. I’ve not been at work which hasn’t helped my brain or body as it quite taxing on both, but at this time I have my family to think of so work can wait until I’ve sorted my house into order. By the end of the month I hope to be back to normal completely. Fingers crossed! So today I was determined to start my blog again. And now coming to the end I wish I had done this sooner, it is quite therapeutic. And once again feels good to let my thoughts flow on-screen. I’ll do another post on what TB actually is for anyone who might be interested. Then I shall put it behind me and start looking forward…..hopefully!
Happy 2012 to you all and hope we all have a good one!!
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